


Issue No. 1

by asphyxiajun



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Graysexual Scale, Hypersexuality, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asphyxiajun/pseuds/asphyxiajun
Summary: (More tags to be added. Rating may change.)edit: on hiatusSehyoon has to accept how different he and Byeongkwan are.





	Issue No. 1

“No.”

“Aww, come on—“

“If you want it so badly, why don’t you get it for yourself?”

“Because, Yoonie, you would look cute in it. Chan would be jealous.”

Hmph. He wasn’t that easily swayed by the offer, since he had no intention in the first place to be cuter than anyone, but that didn’t seem to be stopping the ball of energy trying to convince him to put this dumbass beanie on his head.

There wasn’t anything cute about it, anyway; it was pretty nondescript and a deep royal purple (which Sehyoon kind of liked, he admitted) with some random English word strewn across the front of it in a white loopy font. There weren’t any faces or pompoms or light pastel colours on it, so he didn’t know why Byeongkwan was being this adamant about it in the first place. He didn’t wear beanies that often as it was, so why would he start now?

“No.”

Sighing in defeat, the blond drooped at the defiance, taking out his phone to snap a picture of the beanie. He didn’t really understand the point, unless Donghun wanted to claim it for himself. Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad—

Suddenly his world went dark, the feeling of scratchy knitted fabric covering half of his face while the sound of an iPhone’s camera shutter went off four times in quick succession and Sehyoon spluttered. Before he could finish tearing the beanie off of his head, he could hear the footsteps of the younger man fleeing while he still had the chance, much to the dismay of one of the mall’s workers. Even if it was one of the most childish things he’d ever done at his ripe old age of 24 (going by the kinder scale), he set the beanie down back on its display quickly before leading a chase after the other, trying his best not to bump into anyone while trying to find his friend. Curse them both for being short; the crowd was impossible to see over even when he stopped to look around on the tips of his toes, especially when looking for someone wearing a plain black baseball cap. Damn it. His next strategy was to look for a store that the other likely would have fled to. He doubted he would have left the floor or gone anywhere too out of sight, which left him deciding whether he would push towards the McDonald’s or some spa and massage shop. Knowing him, it would be food.

As it turns out, of course, Sehyoon had ended up missing the most obvious answer of all of them, only managing a soft groan when he felt that same fabric slip over his head from behind. Of course, when he turned around, Byeongkwan was standing there proudly, one hand on his hip while the other took a few more pictures, looking smug.

“See, I told you it would look good on you. You should trust what I say about hats.”

“You say everything looks good on me.” He made no move to remove the beanie, though, which only seemed to brighten the other’s day trifold.

“That’s because it’s true.”

Again with the flattery. It was a quirk of his Sehyoon had gotten used to a long time ago, but even then... he was still wearing the hat, wasn’t he? That said enough when he just resolutely shoved his hands into his pockets, shaking his head before exiting the store after making sure he wasn’t about to accidentally steal the thing. Donghun would probably try to take it from him later, anyway, so he guessed he could live with it for now.

They didn’t often get to go on trips like these. They had a limited budget they were given that they could spend on clothes they wanted, so it seemed silly to waste some of that on something he would rarely wear, but Byeongkwan looked too happy with it for him to have the heart to say anything else about it. It could have been worse, like the llama-print socks he’d tried convincing him to get the last time they were here.

The rest of the trip was spent peacefully, thankfully, and they’d gotten a few good deals out of it, so their manager would have nothing to complain about when they got back and returned the leftover change to him.

During the ride back to the dorms, Sehyoon sat in the front of the van in the passenger’s seat, watching quietly out the window while Byeongkwan played music from his phone in the seat behind him, occasionally making small talk with him or their manager but mostly keeping quiet. The others all had their own practices and schedules so they would be getting back even later, but it’s not like they would be missing out on much, anyway. He was probably going to spend a few hours in the attic with his studio, working on small side projects and the like while he still had the time to; he was eager to get back into it again, since working on stuff now meant he might be able to show some of it to the fans later, maybe even on an official album—

Okay, that helped perk him up a bit, helping him recover from how damn exhausting shopping itself was. He’s sure Byeongkwan could find something else to entertain him for the evening, since a quick glance back told him that the other didn’t seem tired enough to go to sleep yet. The glance was meant to be just that, quick and subtle, but he couldn’t find it in him to be surprised when Byeongkwan looked up to meet it. It was a little scary, sometimes, how in tune they were with one another. Sehyoon blinked at him for a second before going back to watching the cars outside of the window, but for the next few minutes it felt like he was being stared at from behind.

—

One thing this attic needed was a sink.

A sink, or a mini-fridge so he could store tons of bottles of water and not have to worry about dehydrating, because after a few hours of staring intently at his computer screens he realized how parched he’d become. He’d skipped having a meal since they got home a few hours ago, too preoccupied with the beats floating around in his mind, and now that he was leaning back to stretch out Sehyoon realized just how hungry he actually was. With no small amount of complaints from his legs, having been stuck in the same position for so long, he shuffled his way quietly back downstairs in case anyone else had returned and was sleeping. No lights were on, either. Hm. Not thinking much of it, Sehyoon turned on one of the small, dim-lit lamps in the room so he could set about making himself a packet of ramen after some deliberation, blinking to keep his eyes awake while he waited for the water to boil.

His ears accustomed to the quiet, now, and he was able to hear something from one of the rooms now; his, maybe? The water wasn’t going to boil over in the time it would take him to snoop, so he let it do its own thing while he crept over to the source of whatever he was hearing, pressing his ear curiously to the wood.

What he got in return for his sleepy curiosity was a whiny moan. He’d never jolted away from a doorway so fast in his entire life, not even the time when he was hiding the hamburger he was devouring in the attic when Donghun came to investigate.

The voice had undeniably been Byeongkwan’s. He’d never heard... that particular sound before from him, but it didn’t fit anyone else. Besides, the others were all still obviously gone, so that meant there was only one candidate left, and he didn’t know how to process it. The water popped a few bubbles at him when he returned to the pot, brows furrowed. It wasn’t the first time Sehyoon had heard something he shouldn’t have, of course, having lived in dorms with other boys for the better part of several years, and it wasn’t the first from among his teammates, either. Obviously, he knew they all needed time to destress and handle themselves when they needed to. Usually it was kept to the shower, though, probably. Thinking about and imagining his teammates masturbating had never been high on his list of priorities so he couldn’t be sure, but it was where he did it when he felt the urge to. It wasn’t too often, but maybe it was different for the others. The younger ones had so much energy pent up all the time maybe it was weirder that this was his first time hearing it from one of them, but for what it was worth, he really just wished it would have been Chan.

...Okay. That definitely wasn’t a mental image he needed. Thanks, brain.

The rest of his ramen-making was spent with a small frown and a lot of feeble attempts to make enough close range noise so he wouldn’t have to think about what was happening in the other room.

Maybe that was a weird reaction. Most people were supposed to enjoy possibly walking in on their crushes getting off, right? Since they were attracted to them sexually, it only made sense they would be interested in seeing them that way.

He... wasn’t so sure he was, or wanted to.

Maybe that’s why he was upset about overhearing it? Just knowing that Byeongkwan was most likely interested in sex, and all of that other stuff with it. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, knowing the other’s nature, but it did put a bit of a damper on his meal when he brought it to the table in front of the TV and flipped on the first variety show he found. The top of his noodles were getting cold by the time he remembered to actually eat them.

A few minutes later, having finally let himself get distracted enough by the program on the screen, their bedroom door clicked open and he heard heels scuff their wooden floors behind him, seemingly pausing on realizing there was someone there. Sehyoon tuned out of the TV show almost instantly, listening to Byeongkwan eventually make his way over to the kitchen to scrounge around for snacks. What he didn’t expect was for him to casually make his way to sit across from him at the table, legs crossed while he started crunching away at some chips.

The older of the two cleared his throat at the same time that the younger began trying to speak, but while one was left trailing off awkwardly, the other recovered without seeming phased.

“Hey. How’s the song going?” He asked casually while taking in another chip. It was hard to tell with the brightness of the TV, but if Sehyoon squinted enough he might have seen the remnants of pink on his cheeks.

...Ugh. He needed to stop thinking about it. “It’s okay. I don’t know if you would like it, it’s not really your style.” 

Without hesitation, as per usual Byeongkwan attitude, he snorted and reached over to flick him on the back of his hand. “Of course I would like it. You made it. That’s reason enough to.”

This was part of the reason why he hated this situation. This one-sided crush ordeal. Every compliment he got only sent him spiraling further down into the pits of it, since they were always said so earnestly and sincerely, like anyone that disagreed with him would be outright stupid. It was nice, having someone so supportive of him there, but damn if it didn’t leave him feeling clingy because of it. Or feeling like he could get used to those and take them truly to heart to make them mean what he wanted them to mean: that Byeongkwan loved him for him, not because of his appearance or his abilities alone. Obviously he knew that their friendship was mutually cherished, but he was often left wondering why, exactly, Byeongkwan liked him so much. Maybe he even would have asked him right there if their three missing members didn’t choose that exact moment to come trudging in through the front door looking exhausted.

The blond was giving him one of those looks again that meant he was trying to figure out everything Sehyoon was thinking, but all of the noise distracted him and let the older slip off after greeting the members back up to his studio so he could throw himself into more producing for as long as his concentration let him.

—

As it turned out, Byeongkwan actually did end up liking it. He could tell from the way the other remained slumped in the only chair available, eyes closed while he held onto the headphones covering his ears and foot tapping in time with the beat. He wasn’t shy about showing the others his works in progress, since they usually were able to give him good critiques based on their own preferences that were pretty useful. This time was the first he’d let any of them listen for this particular track, though. It was imperfect, and that meant he was left anticipating a reaction the entire time the other went about jamming to it. He’d been hoping for something more telling than the passive face Byeongkwan was sporting, but oh well; his honesty would make up for it, no doubt. He could always trust in that aspect. 

It didn’t take long for the headphones to return to their place on their stand on the desk, the blond taking his time in mulling over the track so far. It was only a minute long, so there was probably a lot he would have to fix with it while it was in its early stages, but—

“It’s perfect.”

...Oh.

His expression must have given his surprise away, because the other was huffing a small laugh at him.

“I mean it. It’s a great idea, Yoonie, you should keep going with this. We could probably even use it as an intro as is.”

Well that’s—

Okay. That was a great confidence booster. He glanced at the screen and licked his lips in anticipation, almost, ready to throw himself back into the screen as soon as possible. Byeongkwan made some tiny noise in the back of his throat that could have been distress, but he couldn’t figure it out before the other was promptly up and out of the attic with some high-strung statement about going on a walk. It was... more than a little weird how little time it took him to dart out of there, but whatever. He had a track to get back to now with a newfound fervour that he hadn’t had before, occasionally catching himself smiling every time he remembered the compliment. Perks of being in an attic by himself: he didn’t have to hide whenever Byeongkwan made his heart do little flips in his chest or pretend like his affection was entirely platonic. 

The confusion was soon forgotten in place of Sehyoon’s beats and bass whirling around in his head, and he let himself be lost in them until his ears pounded and his eyes screamed for rest. Sitting still was even more exhausting than dancing all day, in his experience, but it was needed for the kinds of goals he wanted to accomplish for himself so what could he do? He’d gotten a lot done today, more than he usually would have in the time he’s spent since the other left. It made him all the more excited despite standing up and putting the computer into sleep mode after backing everything up, languidly arching his back and tugging his arms over his head until he felt more than heard a really satisfying crack somewhere along his spine. Content, Sehyoon got himself cleaned up and ready for bed before sliding quietly into it, casting the other two beds in his room a short look before passing out.

—

Sehyoon stared at Byeongkwan.

Byeongkwan stared at Sehyoon.

They stared each other down in the aisle of a small convenience store, one with a hamburger stuffed in his mouth and the other with a bag of mini marshmallows he was eating by the handful.

Sehyoon cleared his throat first, slowly removing the burger so he could finish chewing and force down the bite.

“If you don’t tell, I won’t.”

“Do you think I have a death wish?” The younger laughed at him before closing their distance in the aisle, linking their arms together while waterfalling from the bag of marshmallows. He didn’t even know that term could be applied to solids. “Junhee would kill us with his big bad leader stare while he told us how disappointed he was. He’d probably even steal my ‘mallows and give them to Chan. No thanks.” Yeah. He didn’t want the rest of the team to slap him a bunch of times on his back again, so that pact was made effortlessly and they did the rest of their convenience store scrounging together. All of them were unhealthy as fuck and completely went against their diet routines, but that’s what made it more fun. They were great at managing their weights so the snacks would probably last them months with how little they would actually eat them. The others never went into the attic, anyway. There were plenty of spaces where they could hide them up there that no one else knew existed.

That’s where they found themselves later, having to sneak in through the front after spying ahead and making sure the coast was clear. It sounded like the others were there but doing their own things, so they made short work of getting the plastic bag of goodies upstairs with little noise and a lot of excitement. Sehyoon was doing his best to not snicker when they made it unscathed and started shuffling away the goods.

They’d made their entry too openly, however, if the stern look of their eldest from the stairway was anything to go by. He hadn’t even heard him come up, what the fuck?

“Sehyoon. Put all of those back in the bag and come downstairs.”

...Fuck, he was in trouble.

Byeongkwan was doing his best to stave off any of the blame by hunching his shoulders and shoving his hands into his pockets, but he got his own special brand of Donghun-glare fury before the guy disappeared back downstairs. He sighed the second he was gone, deflating from the sudden stiffness of the room and moping while repacking the bag. “He’s gonna make us throw these away, isn’t he?”

The blond didn’t give him a response, but that was answer enough right there. He helped him pack but was definitely not going to be the first one to get reamed out, insisting that the older of the two head down first because it was the polite thing to do. Never mind the fact that Byeongkwan was always the one tugging him around everywhere to begin with. Hmph.

Coming down, Sehyoon was met with the sight of the other three members sitting around their coffee table, legs crossed casually in front of them but all three looking for the most part characteristically disappointed. He at least had the mind to look meek when he and Byeongkwan sat down on the other end as well, bag on the table and their feet folded beneath them while they waited for someone to say something.

Yuchan was having a hard time controlling his expression, his first sign that things weren’t as tense as he’d originally thought. Observing Junhee, he noticed their leader was focused more on trying to figure out what was in the bag, rather than gearing up for a telling-off session about idol expectations and weights or whatever. Only Donghun’s was kept relatively stable, taking the bag and flipping it so all of its contents poured out on the table and he could observe their short-lived stash in its full glory.

Then he picked up one of the candy bars, opened it gently, and casually took a full bite from it with a small sigh of pleasure through his nose.

While the two that had purchased them watched in bewilderment, Chan and Jun followed suit, fighting over something strawberry-flavoured and grabbing some bags of chips for themselves in the meantime.

Sehyoon watched as they dug into their haul.

...

What?

“Uhh...” Byeongkwan helpfully supplied, obviously at a loss himself, but at least it got Junhee to grin over at the two dancers and motion them towards the pile.

“What are you waiting for? We have to hide the evidence before the manager finds out, don’t we?”

They met eyes with each other for the hundredth time that night, both breaking out into their own variations of grins before joining in with their members in fighting over who got to eat what. Sehyoon had to admit he was much happier with this than hoarding a bunch of snacks to himself for the next month; they were all laughing and talking over a bunch of candy and bags of processed salt like a bunch of children, Byeongkwan and Chan starting a game of mini chubby bunny while the rest cheered them on and tried to make them laugh so they would lose. To his side, he tried squishing Byeongkwan’s cheeks together with both of his palms (he’d always loved seeing how far out they could puff up), the motion returned so they were trying to shove each other around by their faces while he kept trying to play the game with Chan. It was a whole mess and a half, since he accidentally ended up spitting marshmallows at Sehyoon’s jacket, but it was worth seeing his face when it happened no matter how gross it was. It left Junhee wheezing on the table by himself while Donghun tried tickling Chan’s side, but all Sehyoon could focus on was Byeongkwan’s ears turning red from embarrassment while trying to swallow the marshmallows in his mouth and how he kept trying to laugh without choking. There were some pretty unflattering faces involved, of course, but he found them all endearing anyway and patted his back to help him get everything down without dying. 

Once their sugar highs started wearing down after they’d successfully hidden all of the evidence, there was the leftover worry about what this would do to their weights, but it was hard to overthink it after how much fun they’d managed to have because of it. Not only in sneaking the food, but it wasn’t often they sat together and really talked when they ate, especially when there was no actual celebration or occasion involved. He was satisfied with the outcome, personally, so maybe he would have to “fail” to sneak in more snacks some other time when they needed the stress relief. It couldn’t happen often for obvious reasons but hopefully it would be something they could do again. Maybe once a comeback or so.

And— Sehyoon thought, rubbing the shoulder of the person draped against his side and clearly about to fall asleep right there— maybe the other perks weren’t too bad, either. He could handle a more intense diet if it meant he would get Byeongkwan pressed up against him with his arms wrapped around his waist loosely. ...Not that they needed a snackbinge for that to happen, normally. It just felt nice and warm and safe, so it was with a lot of disappointment that he had to unwind the other to convince him to go get ready for bed before he could take the chance to nap on him. Donghun did the same for the others and wished Sehyoon a good night when they parted at their separate bedrooms, one holding Yuchan and the other leading the two blonds inside.

It was cold when Sehyoon settled into bed. Maybe not cold temperature-wise, but he missed having the heat of another body pressed against his side, so falling asleep was more disappointing than he’d hoped. In his dreams, he imagined Byeongkwan joining him, kissing his forehead and winding around him so he was surrounded by that warmth; it made waking up even more of a disappointment, but it had him in a good mood for the next day despite it.

—

Sehyoon wasn’t blind. Or deaf. There were some things he knew, and some he wish he didn’t know, and Junhee telling him this didn’t surprise him by any means. If anything, hearing it out loud only had him deflating into his mattress on the floor, the last piece clicking into place only explaining the signs he’d been seeing from Byeongkwan for the past few weeks, and it seemed like he wasn’t the only one privvy to it. Of course. As their leader, it was Jun’s job to take care of his team, which meant he had to be more attentive towards them and their needs than he put on. It was part of what made him such a good leader for them all, and one of the other parts was his being willing to talk about growing concerns with them to make sure they didn’t blow up in anyone’s faces, since that was entirely possible with their mesh of personalities here. Still, that didn’t mean he had to enjoy talking about it, so he didn’t look at the other when he slid into the bed next to him, both sitting up against the wall it was propped against.

“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy. You’ve liked him for a long time, haven’t you?”

“...Yes.”

Junhee sighed through his nose at the non-answer and ran his hand through his hair, pulling his knees up to his chest so he could wrap his arms around them.

“If you don’t want to talk about it with me, shouldn’t you at least talk to him? He’s making it really obvious. Even Chanie noticed.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Shouldn’t what? Talk to him, or...?”

“...I don’t know. Anything. Both. I don’t want to hurt him.”

“If you really think you would be able to then I think you’re an idiot.” The bluntness left him stunned for a bit, but he didn’t take his eyes off of anywhere that wasn’t Jun. “If even the great Wowson can’t work it out, which of us have any hope of doing it? I don’t want to pressure you, Sehyoon, I’m sure you’re more worried about this than you’re letting me see, but you know what happens when we don’t talk things out. It might not be as complicated as you think, okay? Try to keep that in mind. I’m here for you if you want help sorting it out, you know that. But at this point I don’t think you guys can ignore this without addressing it no matter what the end result is. Okay?”

Sehyoon let out his own small sigh in response, nodding. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew this would have to come up eventually, but the reality of the situation was... he was terrified of that. He didn’t want their relationship to change for the worse, and he definitely didn’t want to accidentally say something wrong when he cherished Byeongkwan more than anything— but that was most likely what would happen. He wished they could just go back to being one-sided so they would never have this conversation and he could pine safely in peace. Life wasn’t that simple, though, apparently. Life could be a dick sometimes.

Jun didn’t move from his spot until the older agreed with some reluctance to at least address it soon before it could become a big problem that didn’t even need to be a problem in the first place. He knew he was right, in all honestly. That didn’t mean he had to like it.

It pained him to even think about having to turn his own crush down over something that, to him, was so fucking minor. It was just their sexual compatibility. He wasn’t that interested in it and probably would never be. Byeongkwan, on the other hand, he couldn’t be as sure about; obviously he wanted it to some degree, and if the not-so-sneaky glances he gave Sehyoon when he thought he wasn’t looking just made it more obvious. Plus with his nature and attitude in general, it was hard to believe he would be interested in a relationship that might not ever get to that point. It would be okay at first, probably, but if he never changed his mind, it might build up to other things and be the entire reason they fall out (god forbid)— it was just such a huge risk that he wasn’t prepared to take. He’d rather cut it off now before they both sank any deeper and so Byeongkwan could find someone better suited for him in all aspects, whoever that may be.

The plan was simple: Junhee would take the others out to eat, leaving them an hour or two to sort their shit out in privacy and not have to worry about being walked in on or interrupted during any key moments. They wouldn’t have that time for another two weeks, so that’s the amount of time he had to figure it out. How to word how he felt correctly so they could come out of this and still be best friends. He couldn’t decide whether confessing while turning him down would be a great idea either, but for now he guessed he had time to sit on it. All of the what ifs would fuck up his thoughts for the next few weeks, but it would help him come to the right conclusion. ...Hopefully.

**Author's Note:**

> i’m trying out new things with each fic i start and get inspiration for ^^ sorry if anything seems awkward, im adjusting. let me know what you think!


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